Showers of joy!

The rainy season has just come and gone in Chennai. Well, if you can call it a season that is.For those of us who live south of the Vindhyas, yet east of the Nilgiris (read residents of Tamil Nadu) the rainy season is basically about 10 days of intermittent rain, probably comprising of 4 days of continuous showers. And yet, each time, this North East 'monsoon' is a much awaited affair.

And not for any romantic or even religious reasons! For a very practical one. With no perennial rivers in Tamil Nadu and particularly Chennai, these showers make all the difference for a comfortable, ground-water-rich summer which follows in a few months (and in Chennai summer begins in March if not sooner!)I suppose thats why come October, the rains are the hot topic of the season beating any other events of national or international significance. This year was no different. A late but bountiful monsoon made its appearance in October and continued onto November.

There is something about the rain which attracts us, atleast well, me. I dont understand why "Rainy days and mondays" can get you down(ok, I agree with the mondays part). And I'm like most Chennaiites who will brave the showers even as they make the helpless city resemble a refugee camp, and yet will stop short of saying "Rain Rain go away"! I dont know- there's something about wearing a raincoat and driving in the rain. Something about opening up an umbrella and hearing the patter of raindrops. The same something which fills me with happiness even as I ride in an auto, late at night from Park station (which I could not enter unless I chose to swim past the pool of water at the entrance) to Egmore, watching the rain illuminated by the headlights; although I have left late from work, my bags are wet and the auto is damp.

I guess each rain reminds me of other rainy days from the past. I remember driving to class in the rain in BIM. I remember the heavy rains of 2005 when the entire city was pretty much stuck at home for days and my university exams got delayed. I remember rainy summers from childhood when we made paper boats with the neighbours kids right here in Chennai. I even remember rainy days in Cochin when the premonsoon or "mango" showers would begin as early as April and how every week from May to August, our garden would look refreshed in a new shade of green! (Cochin is part of Kerala; Tamil Nadu's luckier, west-of-the- Nilgiris neighbour which has a real six month long monsoon)

And so, rain will always be welcome, as will be the memories it brings along. For now, am just happy we will have a comfortable summer!

Seaside holiday!

A late post but nevertheless.

After a lot of almost-cancellations, some real cancellations and postponements, we finally got off to a weekend trip to the town of Chirala in AP last month. Two of my friends from college/work and me that is. But the dampened beginning could no way spoil the superb time we had!

Chirala is a charming seaside town on the Bay of Bengal coast known for its lovely beach. We had arranged to stay at the company guest house which is practically on the beach - what more could we ask for! So although we reached at the unearthly hour of two in the morning,we felt welcomed by the roar of the sea nearby. But only in the morning by day light could we see just how close it was!

As planned were off to the beach by seven. The time we had frolicking on the almost private beach was simply amazing.Definitely a welcome, much needed break from the year and a half exile that has been work (exile as in taking days off I mean!) The only thing that could top off the morning at the beach was the yummy breakfast. Dont think I have feasted like that in a long time! Faint memories of the Famous Five on Kirrin beach lingered in my mind.The rest of the day passed well with good company and a short outing to the local market (the place is known for its cotton materials-so just picked up a saree for mom). The high point was spending the evening walking on the beach, the waves curling at our feet - courtesy floodlights provided by the guest house staff!

The next day had just as good a start to the morning. Only, we got more into the mood and sat down near the waves! The amount of sand we brought back in our clothes was a different story of course! Was reminded of doing that as a kid in Visakhapatnam during picnics with many families. We spent the remainder of the afternoon reading in the garden overlooking the beach. Also took time off to go for a stroll and took some good photos.Sunday evening was spent playing cards and listening to music.

When we left on Sunday night, I realised how it feels to never want a holiday to end! If you think about it, it was very simple. No TV or movies or any other entertainment. Just the beach and great company of course! I guess thats a class of holiday in itself!

Anyway the end was slighly bittersweet when we discovered we had booked the ticket for the previous night after boarding the train at 1.00 AM! After some ranting, we finally settled down in the one berth provided and sat through the thankfully short 5 hour journey. But I think I understand - "Real happiness is usually tinged with sorrow; perhaps thats part of its charm" saying. Nothing could take away the time we had.

Manged to finish the book "To kill a mockingbird" by Harper Lee on the trip. Had been wanting to read it in a long time; loved it. Really a different style of writing;and such memorable characters. Definitely recommended.

Reading on...

It's been two months since my last post, yet it seems much more. Have to admit that this thing is kind of addictive. Every morning as I step out of the train, on my way to work, I am flooded with topics to blog about. But, time and work-stress wait for none....certainly not for this work-commute-weathered blogger!

Anyway that's not the point. The point is what I should choose to blog about. Although, it is kind of related. To the commute I mean. Taking two trains to work every morning, other than the twenty minute commute to the nearest station has become a habit - now that it's been six months since the shift in workplace. But it wasn't so at first. Although the Chennai Suburban Railway is no complainable service (with regard to frequency of trains and overall cleanliness), its the time spent that I was worried about. Close to 40 minutes spanning over 2 trains. Boring - I thought. What a waste of time. After all, there is hardly anything to admire between Guindy station and Wimco Nagar. But things have a funny way of turning out for the best, when you least expect them to!

Because that's what has happenned. I actually enjoy the commute to work now! Well, not always, but most of the time. I mean yeah, there are days when I just hate the wait, particularly when the train stops somewhere in the middle of nowhere in North Chennai. But on the whole, I like the quiet time I get to myself. At first I thought that it was because ,my friend Deepa accompanies me most days and its always fun to chat and travel , but it’s not only that. I now find myself thinking that the travel is not a big deal. Probably because it’s has given me time to resurrect one of my favourite activities - reading. As a child I was a voracious reader. Reading was more important to me than schoolwork or anything else. The last few years have been different with other pressures such as preparation for post grad and actually studying during it. So it’s after quite a few years, that I’m actually reading every single day! And I love it. I have read quite a lot of the books which have been in my agenda for the past few years. Here's a glimpse of some of them.

1) The Prodigal Daughter - Jeffery Archer's prequel(is it?) to Kane and Abel which I had read in college. Never thought I would love this book more than the first! Especially loved Florentyna's campaign toward presidency, speeches et al.

2) Wings of Fire - Dr APJ Abdul Kalam's semi-autobiography and a beatiful account of the Indian space programme by an insider! It amazes me how patriotism can be invoked by such simple words. Dr Kalam narrates so simply what goes into making each stage of a government project a success, giving an insight into many facts about people who display the passion for creativity outside of the private sector. A must read for every Indian.

3) Angels and Demons - Dan Brown's novel which I had been wanting to read for a long time. Although it got off to a gripping start in the beginning and continued on the same path, I was somewhat, not to amazed by the end. A good read though. What I did get amazed by was the wonderful description of Rome and the Vatican, with its statues, sculptures of the Renaissance artists and history! I’m sure that as it has done to me, this book will make anyone want to desperately visit this beautiful city.

4) Not a Penny more, Not a Penny Less - Jeffery Archer's classic kind of story, the kind we had in our English textbooks at school. Very very well written. Had bought it a long time ago but found time to read it just now.

5) Chicken Soup for the Mother and Daughter's Soul - No surprised here, as expected, heart tugging stories of all kinds - that, like all Chicken Soup books make you realise the beauty that exists in simple everyday life in the form of relationships.

Have given a miss to some of my favourite books which I have re-read and magazines. Am now onto Erich Segal's "Doctors", and have many more in line. Rest in next!

Parents and Children

Of late, I feel like I am filling my blog, more with others's works than my own writing. But I have to include this one. Probably something that every parent should be made to read when thier kids are born, and often thereafter.

On Children

by Kahlil Gibran

Your children are not your children.
They are the sons and daughters of Life's longing for itself.
They come through you but not from you,
And though they are with you yet they belong not to you.

You may give them your love but not your thoughts,
For they have their own thoughts.
You may house their bodies but not their souls,
For their souls dwell in the house of tomorrow,
which you cannot visit, not even in your dreams.
You may strive to be like them,
but seek not to make them like you.
For life goes not backward nor tarries with yesterday.

You are the bows from which your children
as living arrows are sent forth.
The archer sees the mark upon the path of the infinite,
and He bends you with His might
that His arrows may go swift and far.
Let our bending in the archer's hand be for gladness;
For even as He loves the arrow that flies,
so He loves also the bow that is stable.

Dedicated to all parents who understand and live by the above.

'Life for me ain't been no crystal stair'

I was just thinking about starting one of my posts with a poem by Langston Hughes, a poet I had not heard of before I came across the poem(will do that post soon) but was short of time today and remembered this line 'Life for me ain't been no crystal stair' from one of the Chicken Soup for the Soul books and decided to put it up. Surprisingly, a quick google search revealed that this one is by Langston Hughes as well! Anyway, am not really into poetry but somehow this one struck a chord - the comparison is so lifelike and practical. And a rhyming scheme always interests me! Should try to read up on more of this poet. Got it from - http://www.tnellen.com/cybereng/matoson.html

In this poem, Hughes writes about a mother speaking to her son about life's experiences. He uses the metaphor of a crystal stair.

Well, son, I'll tell you:

Life for me ain't been no crystal stair.
It's had tacks in it,
And splinters,
And boards torn up,
And places with no carpet on the floor
Bare.

But all the timeI'se been a-climbin' on,
And reachin' landin's,
And turnin' corners,
And sometimes goin' in the dark

Where there ain't been no light.
So boy, don't you turn back.
Don't you set down on the steps'
Cause you finds it's kinder hard.
Don't you fall now --For I'se still goin', honey,
I'se still climbin',
And life for me ain't been no crystal stair.

Holidays!

Of all the things I have missed since I started working, holidays top the list. Earlier there were always the long holidays to look forward to, when there would be trips to plan and enjoy. Now for the past one year of work, a holiday has been an elusive goal.

But finally, after a year of compromise, I took a break with my family and took off to Yelagiri for the weekend. And realised for the first time, what a holiday is really about. Yelagiri is a beautiful place, close enough to the cities of Bangalore and Chennai not to tire you, yet far enough to make you leave the city behind. Its not as breathtaking as the cold hill stations of the north, and yet it's greenery and fresh air refresh you as well as any of them.

Maybe it was just the time and place - it was a well deserved weekend for the first time with the entire family (my dog Bingo included!)which has been my long time goal. And I realised for the first time what people mean when they talk of taking a break from work and enjoying a holiday. It's not necessary to see all the places around or do everything there is to do (was hoping to catch paragliding if it were possible though) Visiting a few places and then relaxing in the garden or indoors watching a movie, can be just as rejuvenating! Sometimes it's good to relax in the middle of hurrying about life and take things slow. Glad I did so.

Response/Ability

A few stanzas from one of my favourite books which has somehow spoken to me strongly over the years...can be interpreted in many ways...would be interesting to see how others do so..

Response/Ability

the game we play

is let's pretend

and pretend

we're not pretending

we choose to

forget

who we are

and then forget

that we've

forgotten

who are we really?

the center

that watches

and runs the show

that can choose

which way

it will go.

the I AM

consciousness

that powerful

loving perfect

reflection

of the cosmos

but in our attempt

to cope with

early situations

we choose or were

hypnotized into

a passive position

to avoid punishment

or the loss of love

we choose to deny

our response/ability

pretending that

things just happened

or that we were

being controlled

taken over

we put ourselves

down

and we have become

used to this

masochistic

posture

this weakness

this indecisiveness

but we are

in reality

free

a center

of cosmic energy

your will

is your power

don't pretend

you don't have it

or you wont.

- Bernard Gunther from 'Chicken Soup for the Soul'

The Story of India..

Tired of watching 'F.R.I.E.N.D.S' over and over again (not that I would completely stop lol) I decided to watch the series of documentaries called 'The Story of India' by Michael Wood based on my friend Abhi's advice(thanks a ton Abhi!)....and I loved it! For all os uf who were kids in the late eighties and early nineties, an age that cable TV hadn't invaded, the word documentary usually conjures up images of lifeless, never ending Doordarshan programmes with monotonous music (sorry if I hurt any Doordarshan fans here, but had to tell the truth!). And the narrative is usually a gender neutral voice pronouncing every word with utmost care, thereby killing (other than the viewers) the essence of what is being said!

This is probably why any of us would strongly resist calling 'The Story of India' a documentary. The show(to call it so, for lack of better words) is full of life; mostly due to the enthusiastic host, Michael Wood who injects life into every story he tells. While the show is aimed at British audiences, it is a must watch for any Indian, and in my opinion, every schoolkid before he/she starts studying(and almost simultaneously!) hating history as a subject. For Wood, as he travels across India , history is all around for us to see. He carefully traces back little traditions and practices to ancient times, pausing just long enough to keep our attention and then moving on to the next fascinating chapter in the story of our glorious land; a stark contrast to usual documentaries that harp on the same point in detail until it becomes intolerable.

The visuals flit from images from the past to present day India where Wood walks along, talking to historians and the local chai-wala with the same ease. He also carefully sets the time period mentioning other historical events such as the fall of Rome, thus painting a complete picture of Indian history's place in that of the world. But don't be put off by my frequent usage of the word 'history'! Wood also touches upon present day issues such as caste based politics and the Ram Janmabhoomi, sensitising the viewer, to past events that have led to them.

At the end of each documentary you are surprised at how much he managed to cover, just by tracing back events through curiosity, rather than as 'history'. He begins for instance, by tracing the man whose forefathers were the first ones to reach India from Africa! And you realise that Wood is not just another one of those, India crazy westerners for whom this is a fad (his daughters are named Minakshi and Jyoti!) : his pronounciation and knowledge of both North and South Indian languages is impeccable.

At the end of the day, even if you aren't a history buff - give it a watch. Some of the visuals are so amazing (a boat on the Ganga early in the morning, Kerala in the monsoon) that you are genuinely sorry you need someone to show you this breathtaking beauty around you. And you might learn a few surprising facts. Did you know for instance, that the story of Lord Rama's golden age was probably inspired by that of King Chandragupta Maurya?! And you must appreciate how difficult it is to cover over 10,000 years of history in six interesting capsules (history haters, you've got to agree!). For your benefit here they are:

1. Beginnings
2. The Power of Ideas
3. Spice Routes and Silk Roads
4. Ages of Gold
5. The Meeting of two Oceans
6. Freedom and Liberation
Here's the wiki link to the series as well...Happy Watching!
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Story_of_India

Exam-ine this!

Come March and it is exam time all over the country. A few weeks back,while driving to work, I saw kids outside a school waiting to write public/board exams and I felt a twinge of nostalgia followed by relief! This April, it will be a whole year since I have NOT written a single exam for atleast about 18 years! Seems wierd that I even think of such stuff? Not really...read on.

I have always had a love-hate relationship with exams. I started off doing fine, then went on to think of them as a necessary evil and finally ended by realising their futility after surprisingly, getting used to them. I was fortunate enough to grow up in places and around people who did not beleive exams to be the be all and end all of life. My dad always insisted that I be one among the best in class which meant doing well at exams but he insisted equally that I do well in other areas such as becoming the class leader (what a thrill that used to be back then...lol) or extra curricular activities. My mom looked at them as a necessary evil as well, helping me to study, but never more. I had friends who were mostly like me as well and to others who weren't, I was indifferent.

I guess things changed when I came to Chennai for the last three years of school. Suddenly, marks were all that mattered and almost everyone had realised it earlier than me! I worried myself sick before every exam and agonised over them after they were over(especially Maths, an anathema!). I pushed myself hard and tried to outdo the others - actions I regret today. I remember not sleeping a wink before the Chemistry board exam in 12th standard and feeling awful the next day - lol. All in all, a forgettable time. In hindsight, looking at the uselessness of those (sometimes few) marks which I strived and obtained, I feel genuinely sorry for kids whom I see in that state today. I truly beleive that society takes them for a ride leading them to believe that school exams and public exams are ultra - important because they are not.

As is often the case, college changed me. Competition dwindled and worked to my advantage. I realised that if I didnt push myself so hard, I did better. I even scored the best in Maths! Realising my unsuitability for the exam phenomenon, I abandoned the last minute hurry and made myself a more relaxed schedule. It was a winning combination! I did better in exams and even better at other activities. I followed this ever since, even through my post graduation and it clicked! I avoided studying the 'possible questions' which professors doled out and looked at the syllabus and the aim of the subject. While I am not the topper of the class (nor was it my aim), I think I managed to pass decently and more importantly, learn more. I know today that I can take a course and learn whatever is taught, even if there isn't an exam at the end.

A few unpleasant experiences related to exams have led me to still fear an exam because there is often more to it than what I can control and also because it often negates every other method of assessment which may have been followed. I would genuinely be interested in making a change about this in the future if I can. But in the meantime, I genuinely feel everyone needs to build on an 'exam philosophy' in life. Mine, for instance was 'its useless and you know it, but you need to get through it fast, if you want write about how much you hated it'! LOL. But seriously, you do. It might become a parable for many other aspects of life.

Of course, exams bring along a lot of other memories. Sharpening penciles and getting the pencil box ready, last minute 'all the best' wishes to friends before entering the exam hall and of course, the elation of getting back a paper that you've done well! But they stop at that. I feel happier today to learn stuff and work against my own standards.I think I am freer today because I dont have to write exams and what's best, having the choice of never doing so again in the future!

Memories - I

In one of my favourite Agatha Christies, a character who has gone through a lot of difficulties in her life says " No matter how tough life is later, it's a blessing if one has had a happy childhood..because noone can ever take that away from you" (Patricia Fortescue in "A Pocketful of Rye"). I guess that is true.

I went back to Trichy last weekend for my college alumni meet. While Saturday was spent gregariously with friends and a party, on Sunday afternoon,I made my way in the city bus to my grandparents' at Srirangam. Entering Srirangam always makes you feel like you're entering a different world..maybe because the quiet laidback town is a contrast to the college life I leave behind. Also, because it reminds me a lot of my childhood. When I was a kid, we used to go to Srirangam every summer. And memories of walking the dusty streets alongside the goats reminds me of a time gone by.

After an afternoon of catching up with family, it is evening. There are no cousins to keep me company anymore and my bus to Chennai is five hours away. I decide, like often, to skip the crowds and queues at the Lord Ranganathar (Big) temple that Srirangam is known for and make my way all alone to the Kaatazhagiya Singar Kovil at the end of the street. The name refers to the beauty of the lion of the forest, Lord Nrisimha being half man and half lion, the place obviously having association with a forest in earlier days. It's the quieter, lesser known temple in the town, and yet I am told attracts crowds now.

However, it is not crowded when I enter. I walk along the stone led pathway and watch people lighting lamps. I do the customary round around the temple and then climb up the stairs to see the main deity inside. I love the smell of the temple, a warm welcoming smell, that makes you admire the massive deity inside. Some things never change. I remember the many times I have come here with family. As I walk out of the main chamber I see a relative who remembers me once I tell her whose daughter and granddaughter I am and I am given kalkandu prasadam (a sweet offering made to the temple deity and then distributed to others). I stop there right outside the main chamber and pause to look at the wall paintings of the various forms of Lord Nrisimha outside. I am keenly aware that I am probably becoming more religious(!) or is it?

I am just beginning to remember that I have some memory of standing here before too, when I hear a small girl standing next to her sister, call out: "Matsya Koorma Varaha Nrisimha...Varaha enga pa?(Avatars of Lord Vishnu in chronological order)" and I now know what it is! I remember standing here with my brother figuring out the avatars from the paintings too. It may seem trivial, but it is such a vivid memory that I am surprised. I guess I haven't moved so far away from childhood after all, I wonder. I may worry more about money and work and the future, I think now that it's been several months at a job, but childhood memories will always remain. And Patricia Fortescue is right.

Loneliness

So just today on the ride to work, my close friend Deepa and I started talking about loneliness. And I am not talking about anything romantic...but just plain loneliness...and how people deal with it. And I realised, how difficult it is for most people to learn to be alone. Even for a little while. I guess it comes with experience..but in the last few years, I have not had too m any problems with it..because I've been kind of used to it. I mean, I have learnt especially in the last 2 years away from home, that I don't always need someone to talk to...which is the complete opposite of the chatterbox I was as a kid (and sometimes still am!)

I guess shifting schools and my college life made me learn a lot bout being, just by yourself. I realised that one's own company was better than being with just ANYONE else. Deepa used to find it odd in hostel that I would go out all alone to temples! Now I understand why it could be wierd.

But there is strange consolation in learning to be alone. Nowdays, when I am alone I find a strange sense of calm sweeping over me. I know that I have enough people in my life to make me happy. But more importantly I realise, they don't have to be around me all the time.

The next one

Discarding my earlier plan of a totally anonymous blog (after noting zero visits to my blog!), here I am again! In case you noticed the overt use of exclamations in my post(s), here is an explanation. You know, I think some people are born slightly autobiographical...I mean, they're the ones who believe that others would be interested in their thoughts and actions and that they need to therefore be written down for posterity.

Well, I am one of those souls. Only, I'm one of those who took this to such a level that some time into childhood, I almost always had a narrative of my life running through my head, all the time! This was so overwhelming that I decided there was no possible way that I could record all that I felt, or all that happened. And anything lesser would be injustice. Thus, no diary, no blog.

But one matures with age...and when I realised recently how much I enjoyed my favourite hobby of reading others blogs, and on receiving comments such as the one mentioned in my earlier post - I decided to have one too. I guess at one point you realise that everything cannot be perfect and yet you need to make a start. Anyway, after the above epic on the history of my blog, I decided to start off my blog with some thanksgiving. You see, I have realised that happiness is a choice, and one learns slowly to appreciate the small things in life and then moves on to bigger ones. So here's a list of small things in my life which make me immensely happy!

1. Driving down Pondy Bazaar in Chennai,on a scooter, on a sunny morning watching the shadows of the huge trees play on the road.
2. Entering an air conditioned room after a long ride on a hot day.
3. Holding my infant cousin and playing with her and making her laugh.
4. Eating lunch at office with my colleagues who are also my friends from college.
5. Taking my dog out for a relaxed walk at night.
6. Walking on the terrace after waking early in the morning.
7. Thinking of an upcoming train journey to another town/city.
8. Laughing together while watching F.R.I.EN.D.S with my own friends!
9. Talking to a good friend on the phone at night after a long time.
10. Singing out loud, despite a sore throat while having the helmet on!
Wanted to get to ten somehow and just managed! More to come - rest in next!

Finally!

Started my own blog - finally!!
In case you're wondering what the whole deal is with the "finally!", here goes the story: a few weeks back I was meeting an old school friend after long while. When I told her that i read her blog freqently she asked me " So do you have one?" When I told her that I didn't, she was surprised "Really? But you must". " Why?" I asked, surprised myself. " Because you seem to be the kind of person who...you know writes down her thoughts...but doesn't tell anyone about it". "What?" was my reaction. I could not be like that, I thought. But come to think of it, I figured - why not?! So here goes. Here's to a new beginning!Rest in next!