Friday, October 14, 2011
Heart Ache
Obviously I am not getting around to writing that post today:) Well, life's like that...I am sure I will get around to it sometime soon but today I found myself going back to a question that I have asked myself once in the past - can the heart really feel pain? As any self respecting homo sapien of the 21st century I turned to my self proclaimed agony aunt- Google. Only to be met by pages and pages on how a heart attack is actually felt through your arm and not your chest, yada yada yada ( I know I know, 20 years later when reading such stuff will actually fill me with paralysing fear, I will kick myself for it) but for today i discarded them. And dug deeper to find that apparently yes, the heart definitely can feel pain...heartache or heart break, which could mean the loss of love or a loved one could cause enough stress to kill...WOW! And double WOW!
Its so easy to avoid that pain by simply denying it, and worse yet hiding it. But if you decide to be honest about it, it catches up with you. Just like most things in life do. In a slightly warped way, its like the whole karma deal I guess ( I've always avoided saying that because I felt its cliched, life changes:))
But when you think about it, or atleast when I do, I can't think of any other fact that would make us so quintessentially human. Allowing yourself to feel hurt and sad and vulnerable; all of which signifies a temporary loss of self which occurs due to meshing it with another , is what still makes us classify our species into the living beings side of the table as opposed to the contraptions that we have created to run so much of our lives nowdays. And I somehow feel that its only the bold and brave hearted who would allow themselves to feel so.
To feel so is to feel truly human and therefore, to feel so is to have truly lived.
Monday, August 29, 2011
Memories III
Saturday, April 23, 2011
Life as you know it!
"So are you married?" asks someone at work. I'm out for lunch with my colleagues as part of a treat and just getting acquainted with the first few days into my new role at a new work location. My immediate instinct is to respond as I have for the past few years. Say " Oh no no" as I smile broadly and continue "And not for a while now". But I catch myself just in time to avoid that same reaction and remember to say "Ah no but I am engaged". And it sounds a tad bit unreal even to me! Am met with smiles and the asked the usual "Oh so when is the big day?" and so on as I slip into answering what seem to be much easier questions:)
As I look back on the question and reflect on my reaction, its hard not to smile. Cut to another situation where I find it almost instinctive to fill in “Single” in the Marital Status column of any form!
But it just makes me take a closer look at what it means at the end of the day. Is it really so hard to let go of being single? Apparently, it definitely is! It’s definitely hard to let go of what has been a whole identity for your entire life till now.
“It’s really like stepping into a new life” says my fiancé when asked, echoing my state of mind, reminding me that those were the exact words we have used on our wedding card just about a month ago. How the words suddenly seem to make much more sense with just a month left to go!
“The end of life as you know it” says Gerry to Holly in the movie “P.S I love you” of falling in love. Another phrase whose impact seems to be dawning on me of lateJ Getting married is not much different may I add!
Saturday, April 9, 2011
The end of an era - II
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Time and memory...
You often hear of how people having a near death experience having their life flash in front of them? Well, such flashes of memories are common in general but it is when certain memories that you didnt know existed, dust themselves out of some forgotten shelf of your memory and make an appearance that you feel slightly rattled.
Over time, I realise that my reaction is only surprise at finding that the memory has been there, stashed away somewhere...and also at the fact that wierdly there is no accompanying feeling or thought associated with the memory. Yet, it is still a bit disconcerting to suddenly, even if its just for a brief instant, not know where you are in time. I guess this feeling of losing track of time is unnatural in itself and is probably what we're all worried about at the end of it all.
Sunday, February 20, 2011
The end of an era..
Rachel and Monica of FRIENDS fame call it the end of an era...here's beginning to bid adieu to some simple things that have been a major part of my life due to sheer familiarity:)